Ejemplo de Cómo hay que quejarse en inglés cuando tengáis algún problema

To all the fucksticks that work in your company

I am writing to tell you that your company is the biggest piece of shit I have ever seen on this planet. In fact, your company is so full of shit that I am surprised that there is not the danger of a biological hazard. As far as I am concerned, you can all go and get fucked, as you are all bunch of fucksticks.

The stupid bitch that was on your hotline was the rudest oldest hag that I have ever spoken to. She sounded like she had a broom shoved up her ass that had been there for the last fifteen years, and she sounded like she could have done with a few quickies to make her more enthusiastic in general. She seemed like she really needed a good fuck or she need to go and wank herself. She was so fucken impatient and wouldn't answer any questions I had. I think that I would have got more response from fucking the ass off a chair leg than talking to her. She can go and sit on it and rotate, because she really needs a cattle prod shoved up her ass to get her to do her work properly.

You fucksticks reckon that you have the widest selection of games on the planet. My grandfather's dick is bigger than your selection of games. I would need a microscope if I wanted to see that, not that I would, so you can imagine what I would need to browse your pathetic excuse for a game selection.

You mother fuckers told me that I would get my games within 2 days of ordering them. It's been fucken 2 weeks now and I haven't got any of them. It's a fucken joke how long it takes to get some fucken games. I'm sure that if you needed to go and wank yourself that you wouldn't be prepared to wait 2 weeks, because it would shrivel up and die by then. So send me my fucken games or you'll fucken know about it. I'll tell every fucken person I know how fucken pathetic your company is and you'll have no fucken business by the time I've finished with you.

You fucks think you have lowest prices on games. My friend payed less for a full back crack and sac wax and a night at the whore house than I payed for one of your fucken games. I would rather be tazered up the ass than pay 50 euros for 1 fucken game. It would probably be heaps cheaper and lots more fun. You can shove your ridiculous prices up your fucken ass, because I'm not fucken paying, and I want my fucken money back now.

Overall, your company is really fucked up, and your staff are a bunch of fucksticks. Your selection is fucken smaller than my granddad's dick, and that's saying something. You can all go and fuck yourselves, go and sit on it and rotate, and give me my games and my fucken money back. Fuck off. You're all a bunch of old hags and cocksuckers, but I don't think that any of you are capable of doing a good job of that. Go and fuck off and get out of my sight. I never want to do business with you ever again, you fucksticks.

Alex.

P.D. No sé si me servirá de algo pero me quedé agusto.